So…for the last three months I have been suffering from various ailments resulting from an under-active thyroid; too much gluten, sugar, and dairy consumption; and rapidly shrinking clothes. Actually, this has been going on for over three months. For exactly the last three months, I have had “weeping” earlobes. That’s what the doctor called it.
I assume the stuff they’re weeping is pus. I’d like to imagine my earlobes are improving–they might be. The drops that land on the nape of my neck and slowly trickle down my chest don’t fall as frequently as they used. Every one of my tops is stained with the stuff. I’ve used countless boxes off Kleenex and two rolls of toilet paper to sop up the stuff–And that’s just in the month of March. When I get tired of mopping my ears, I just wad up some tissue and tuck it behind the ears. I look like some crazy Teletubby with tissue ears.
When I must leave the house, I cleverly disguise my condition by taping non-stick pads to my ears. They look like perfect elf ears. I joke with people that ask that I’ve had a “little work done and I’m gonna rock my new Hobbit ears.” No one ever gets it. I have to work on the delivery or something. Taping my ears is required to avoid the clumping and drying of the pus–not only on the lobes–in my hair. Yes. It is THAT gross.
But it gets grosser. Remember when we used to paint our hands with Elmer’s glue in grade school, let them dry, and then peel the glue off? It was kind of repulsive, and a little hypnotic…maybe strangely relaxing. My ears are like that. They start to itch. I reach up to scratch them and touch hardened pus. I tell myself not to touch it, but I end up peeling my ears like a fourth grader peels that glue off their hand. It’s cathartic. But it doesn’t help the healing. AGH!
Yes, the doctor has switched my thyroid medications, so I feel an amazing return of energy. And look, I was able to string more than three words together. WORDS! I’m using words again instead of pointing and grunting. All progress for me and I’m thankful. I’m still a big pus monster that doesn’t want to leave the house, but at least I can use words again.
I brought this all on myself in the pursuit of being forever young or youngish. Turns out I have developed a severe allergy to the peroxide in the hair dye. This is the price of vanity, people. It’s severe now, but I did have lots of warning signs. Every time I had my hair colored in the salon, my ears would redden and swell up for a few days. I told my colorist and she said not to worry because she was using the hypo-allergenic stuff. It kept happening. The number of days my ears stayed swollen and itchy increased every time. I decided the colorist was not listening and she must’ve been just using the regular stuff; so I was gonna start coloring at home. Previously, I only needed to color my hair 2 -3 times a year. That changed to every 6 weeks when I started doing it myself resulting in the skin sloughing my ears and did I mention the sores on my scalp? Yes, sores. Pus oozing sores on my scalp. Don’t worry! Those are all healed. There must be more veins, or whatever it is that helps skin heal, on the scalp.
I could barely function. No appearances on Facebook, definitely no selfies, and no private phone calls (hurts my ears and speakerphone is a must). BUT now I have new meds and am relieved to find that the physical condition of my ears is not responsible for the weight gain, lack of brain function, and constant fatigue. YAY, me!
I did find powdered hair color at Walmart. We’ll see how that goes, but the ears still need to heal first. Be careful out there! It’s a crazy world!