I have started this blog as a lifeline to my life. Recently, I went through a very shocking experience. The effects of which I am only beginning to feel now. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last summer FOR THE SECOND TIME. I underwent a radical double mastectomy and one treatment of chemotherapy. I am currently taking the drug Tamoxifen and am experiencing symptoms of early menopause. Going through this situation with my family and friends by my side was such a blessing. People brought me food, gifts, and offered up prayers. After all is said and done, I am left with the task of picking up the threads of my “old” life. The thing is: you can’t go through something as traumatic as this and not be changed. I’VE CHANGED. My family remains as loving as ever. My friends as supportive as ever. My life as a wife, a mother, a homeschool teacher, a sister, and a friend has not changed. I have embarked on this particular journey to gently remind myself just how blessed I am, and to encourage myself to start living my WHOLE life.
A combination of the drugs and the fact that I have been disfigured dealt a heavy blow around the beginning of this year. I was blindsided by daily depression and the inability and lack of desire to rejoin life; all the while knowing that the little things in life would see me through. For many long weeks I would lie abed only to emerge to make meals and do dishes. My children were wonderful and even brought some meals to me in bed. I held classes from my queen sized bed, and my family was loving enough to not push me. Many things have fallen beneath my “mama radar” and friends have been quick to say, “So what? You have cancer!” But I hate the feeling of driving with a flat tire. I have been slowly recovering my old self. I am learning the limits of my new body. It has been seven months since the surgery, and I can do push ups again–not as many as before, but I can do them! And I have started to dance again.
After spending all those days recovering from surgery, and then more days trying to find my footing, and then even more days sitting in doctor’s waiting rooms, I have come to realize that I LOVE MY LIFE. I have a GOOD life, and I hope it encourages you.
Note: Most pictures of myself here are not current. Maybe I’m also vain–but my pictures here are recent (within the last 12 months). I’ll post a pic of me and my bald head on this page, but know that I have a full head of hair by now.