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TMI or A Cautionary Tail

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TMI or A Cautionary Tail

So…for the last three months I have been suffering from various ailments resulting from an under-active thyroid; too much gluten, sugar, and dairy consumption; and rapidly shrinking clothes. Actually, this has been going on for over three months. For exactly the last three months, I have had “weeping” earlobes. That’s what the doctor called it.

I assume the stuff they’re weeping is pus. I’d like to imagine my earlobes are improving–they might be. The drops that land on the nape of my neck and slowly trickle down my chest don’t fall as frequently as they used. Every one of my tops is stained with the stuff. I’ve used countless boxes off Kleenex and two rolls of toilet paper to sop up the stuff–And that’s just in the month of March. When I get tired of mopping my ears, I just wad up some tissue and tuck it behind the ears. I look like some crazy Teletubby with tissue ears.

When I must leave the house, I cleverly disguise my condition by taping non-stick pads to my ears. They look like perfect elf ears. I joke with people that ask that I’ve had a “little work done and I’m gonna rock my new Hobbit ears.” No one ever gets it. I have to work on the delivery or something. Taping my ears is required to avoid the clumping and drying of the pus–not only on the lobes–in my hair. Yes. It is THAT gross.

But it gets grosser. Remember when we used to paint our hands with Elmer’s glue in grade school, let them dry, and then peel the glue off? It was kind of repulsive, and a little hypnotic…maybe strangely relaxing. My ears are like that. They start to itch. I reach up to scratch them and touch hardened pus. I tell myself not to touch it, but I end up peeling my ears like a fourth grader peels that glue off their hand. It’s cathartic. But it doesn’t help the healing. AGH!

Yes, the doctor has switched my thyroid medications, so I feel an amazing return of energy. And look, I was able to string more than three words together. WORDS! I’m using words again instead of pointing and grunting. All progress for me and I’m thankful. I’m still a big pus monster that doesn’t want to leave the house, but at least I can use words again.

I brought this all on myself in the pursuit of being forever young or youngish. Turns out I have developed a severe allergy to the peroxide in the hair dye. This is the price of vanity, people. It’s severe now, but I did have lots of warning signs. Every time I had my hair colored in the salon, my ears would redden and swell up for a few days. I told my colorist and she said not to worry because she was using the hypo-allergenic stuff. It kept happening. The number of days my ears stayed swollen and itchy increased every time. I decided the colorist was not listening and she must’ve been just using the regular stuff; so I was gonna start coloring at home. Previously, I only needed to color my hair 2 -3 times a year. That changed to every 6 weeks when I started doing it myself resulting in the skin sloughing my ears and did I mention the sores on my scalp? Yes, sores. Pus oozing sores on my scalp. Don’t worry! Those are all healed. There must be more veins, or whatever it is that helps skin heal, on the scalp.

I could barely function. No appearances on Facebook, definitely no selfies, and no private phone calls (hurts my ears and speakerphone is a must). BUT now I have new meds and am relieved to find that the physical condition of my ears is not responsible for the weight gain, lack of brain function, and constant fatigue. YAY, me!

I did find powdered hair color at Walmart. We’ll see how that goes, but the ears still need to heal first. Be careful out there! It’s a crazy world!

HAPPPY NEW YEAR!

It’s that time again; when the year is shiny new, the possibilities endless, and the dreams yours to dream. I wish you good health, and the best attitude to make this a prosperous new year–and just enough time to reflect on just how awesome life can be.

Happy 2016!

In The Garden

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In The Garden

I recently spent some time (okay, maybe a few days) watching videos about English Gardens. The English are amazing. Every one of them interviewed talked about how, when they inherited or bought their properties, the properties were either overgrown or just meadow grass. Every one of them have been working their gardens for 30 plus years. Their grass is a luxurious carpet that one gardener dismissively claims “it’s just meadow that’s been mowed.”

What?! Do you know how much money we spent “installing” our lawn?

They all talk about how they go on garden vacations around the world and bring back plants that they need to find homes for in their gardens. While writing about it makes me a bit angry and more than a little envious, I didn’t feel this way while watching the videos because the English are like that–they embody all things civil for me. Their accents and their slightly self-deprecating manner is OH, so charming!

I have been enamored with the English since I read The Little Princess in the fourth grade. The Secret Garden deepened my admiration. Other books–and even movies, have since sealed my fate. I have to admit that the character I most relate to would be the humble Hobbit. I love to spend my days caring for my home, cooking food, and, of course, eating. My love for gardening, however, surpasses all of these things. I started reading anything I could get my hands on about gardening when my mother first subscribed to Martha Stewart’s Living magazine back in 1990. We lived in a three bedroom condominium, and my mother’s only garden was a six-foot by 10 foot lanai upon which she kept dozens of potted orchids, ferns, chili peppers, and lemon grass.

After getting married, I lived in an apartment, a couple of town homes, and a house–all rentals with tiny yards and existing landscaping. I continued to read gardening books, and dream of a day when I would own my own little piece of land and be able to create my own garden. We now pay the bank for our home that sits on 2.4 acres of a partially wooded lot.

I’ve started VERY slowly. I had a professional install landscaping in the front of the house four years ago (we’ve lived here for 5 years). I had them shape planting beds around three sides of the house and cover them with landscape fabric and pine straw. A few crepe myrtles and yews, some gardenia bushes, and one lonely dwarf magnolia were planted.

My kids and I installed a vegetable garden that same year. I built four raised beds out of pine and hauled garden soil and gravel that I had a local company deliver. That year and the next, we had LOTS of organic produce to eat. The third year the stink bugs, the deer, and the rabbits ate or destroyed pretty much everything in the vegetable garden. Last year, I was too depressed with medical issues to do much gardening.

SO…after watching those videos on Netflix, I was all inspired to start gardening again. I mean REALLY gardening. I went to the local hardware store with a $100 budget for plants to add to the front planting beds. My goal is to pack those beds so tightly that the weeds won’t grow, and I wouldn’t have to spend so much money on mulch. I got home, and immediately put my plants in the ground and realized $100 is NOTHING. I must re-think my strategy and re-read some of those old gardening books. I will be sharing my experiences here in the hopes of garnering advice and tips. 😉

The Best Mother’s Day in a Long Time

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The Best Mother’s Day in a Long Time

Happy Mother’s Day to all! While yanking weeds out of the veggie garden by the handful, I made some plans in my head for a new perennial border and a shade garden.  My yard and garden has sat for the last 18 months unattended.  My hubby mowed the lawn and that is it.

I have been working on edging along the driveway with the weed whacker for the last two days.  I can only go for 45 minutes or so before my elbows and my wrists start to lock up.  My shoulders start to creep up to my ears, and I just need to stop.  I know I should probably find a YouTube video on how to use a trimmer correctly…hmmm, maybe tomorrow.  I told my daughter I try to do yard and garden work when all the neighbors have left for work, and that way they won’t think I’m weirder than I really am.

My plan is to reverse the flow of my shop vac and use it to blow the leaves and pulled weeds out of the veggie beds (yes, I am that lazy, no, we don’t have a cool leaf blower). That was BEFORE I cut the extension cord with the hedge trimmer–again. DIY splicing–another YouTube research topic…maybe tomorrow.

After not feeling well for awhile, I am feeling like quite the hobbit. I took the photo from inside the vegetable garden because I am so ashamed I let it get away from me. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your day! 🙂

Sometimes I Must

Sometimes I Must

I love doing everyday household chores. They ground me; like yoga does for some people. Today I had to do “sometimes” chores. I usually hate these kinds of chores.

I had to dust the blinds. I had to vacuum the base boards. And I had to perform emergency medical services on my house plants. I absolutely HATE doing this last one. Due to six weeks of neglect, they are all suffering. I routinely kill house plants during the winter months. If you ever come to my house and notice beautiful, healthy plants, it’s because I just bought them. 😉

Hoping they pull through! Happy weekend!

Getting Started

So, today is as good a day as any to start changing my not-so-stellar eating habits. I visited a chiropractor for the first time ever this morning, and was told I have inflammation.

Really?

Like I couldn’t tell from the reflection I see in my mirror everyday, or how tiny my jeans feel lately. Haha. All kidding aside, I’ve got issues with pain: pain and inflammation. I have a follow-up appointment next week, and, in true fashion, have vowed to get rid of as much inflammation as I possibly can before my appointment next week–then I can go back to my old habits, right? NO!

So I did what everyone does nowadays: I Googled. Apparently, INFLAMMATION is the new buzz word. There are pages and pages of cleanses, diets, and tips out there. After spending an hour reading a few articles, I can feel myself slipping back into apathy mode. You know, the place where you cut yourself another slice of coconut cake to soothe your overwhelmed soul. Sigh…I LOVE it there; I HATE there.

I hate being overweight and in pain. But do I really need to rush out and buy a juicer and all the ingredients for glasses of liquid that’ll make me gag? How does one start? While I solidify a plan, I’ll do some laundry and a little yoga. Meanwhile, anyone out there who can point me in the right direction, please help!

Happy New Year Resolutions! NOT.

Happy new year to you! Last year I resolved to post something on my blog everyday. I didn’t write it down or even speak it out loud. I thought it in my head. I thought that doing so may help me keep the resolution. Haha, I was so wrong–so, so very wrong. Every year I read articles by “the experts” with tips to help achieve your goals and keep your resolutions. Number 1 is usually “write them down”. I’ve tried all their suggestions to no avail.

I haven’t made any resolutions this year because of my past failure rate. I’m thinking of something like the following list.

1. Eat less than my husband. (I usually do anyway. Is this setting myself up to gain more weight?)

2. Exercise every time I think of it–immediately.

3. Do push ups, jumping jacks, or crunches every time I say I’m too fat–immediately.

4. Eat ONLY the things I want to.

5. Don’t keep friends who are jerks.

6. Chat with my children more. Chat with my introvert hubby more.

7. Turn off the television. (We haven’t had TV in years, but 2014 was the year of Amazon Prime Instant Video and Netflix. And considering we hadn’t been plugged in for ten years, I had a LOT of catching up to do!)

8. Read more books.

However, I could probably go on and on and never finish the list and because the list would remain unfinished I would always feel like I don’t need to start. Ha. Believe me. I’ve done it many a year past.

My real list is this:

1. Do what you want, but only after you’ve done what you must.

2. Be joyful in all you do.

I wish you a prosperous New Year! Downton Abbey starts up again tonight. I must go. 😉